It's Only Temporary - The Complete Collection Read online

  “Don’t mix up me wanting the house with me wanting you.”

  “I don’t think I am. Are you?”

  He flipped on the light, blinding them briefly. “I want to be welcomed in your home, Maggie.”

  “I already said you could stay there.”

  She started to pull up her pants and he stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Welcomed. If not by everybody, then at least by you.”

  He’d bought a house for her. It hadn’t been for him, it had been for her. And he didn’t expect tit for tat but he thought she could offer something in return.

  She just looked at him, not speaking, and he let go of her arm.

  He said, “It would be nice if you could look at me when you’re wide awake like you look at me when you’re not.”

  “How do I look at you?”

  “Right now? Like you’re trying to think three steps ahead of me.”

  She said, “How do I look at you when I’m not awake?”

  “Like you like me. Like you trust me.”

  She finished pulling up her pants, threw on her shirt. She said, “Well, I do like you. And I don’t trust you. They are not mutually exclusive.”

  “What do you think it would take for you to trust me?”

  She shook her head, not answering.

  He sat down on the bed and she stepped between his legs. She tilted his head up and looked into his eyes. She cupped his face with her soft hands and he almost smiled. Soft hands and a sharp voice, and he knew what was coming.

  She said, “I’ll trust you when you stop buying up my company behind my back. I’ll trust you when you stop being sneaky.”

  “When I stop being an idiot?”

  She smiled slightly. “I’m not waiting around for that to happen.”

  “You didn’t trust me when I didn’t do those things. I’d like for you to trust me no matter what I do, no matter what it looks like I’m doing, because you know I wouldn’t hurt you.”

  “Then tell me why you really want to move into the ranch house. Why we just don’t live at your place.”

  He wanted to live in the ranch house because he lived on top of the garage. Because his house was cold and ugly. Because her house was warm and the lights blazed, waiting for everyone to come home. Where you would never be alone, couldn’t ever be alone.

  He wanted to live in the ranch house because it was a home.

  He said softly, “I want to live with you in the ranch house because I’ve only ever snuck in and out of it. I want to walk through the front door when the lights are blazing. Not climb in through the window, not leave before everyone is awake.”

  “I’m not ashamed of you, Cole. I welcomed you into my bed.”

  He shook his head. “No, you didn’t. You snuck me into your bed, in the dark.”

  She opened her mouth, then closed it. She looked away from him, her eyebrows pinched together.

  She opened her mouth again, and closed it again.

  She looked back at him, realization dawning in her eyes. She blew out a breath and said, “I’m sorry. You are welcome in my home, Cole. You are welcome to come through the front door, to sleep in my bed, to eat with my family.”

  “Welcome to a drawer in your dresser?”

  She closed her eyes, shaking her head. “You just always have to push.”

  He chuckled. “I knew that one would be hard.”

  She opened her eyes. “It’s simply a matter of finding the space.”

  “Still not going to tell Rosa I’m moving in? She might notice when she’s putting your laundry away.”

  “I’ll talk to Rosa, tell her to stop treating you like a mongrel dog.”

  Cole laughed and Maggie warned, “But it’s going to take a lot longer for her to forgive you than it took for me.”

  Cole stared at her. “You’ve forgiven me?”

  She ran her hand through his hair. “A few weeks ago. I don’t sleep with those I hate, Cole.”

  “A few weeks ago? That was information I probably could have used, Margaret.”

  “To do what? You’ve gotten me in bed, a ring on my finger, I work with you during the week, and now you’ll be staying in my house during the weekend. What else is there?”

  He flopped back on the bed, pulling her with him. He said, “Tell me again. That you’ve forgiven me for being a stupid eighteen-year-old shit.”

  She pushed herself up enough so that she could see his face. “I’ve forgiven you for being a stupid eighteen-year-old shit.”

  He laughed. “Forgiveness and cussing? We are never getting out of this bed.”

  She smiled at him and he rolled over, getting her underneath him, tugging at her jeans.

  She said, “Cole. Don’t do it again.”

  He looked up to find her not smiling and he stopped tugging.

  She said, “Promise me. I don’t want to go through that again.”

  “I’ll never hurt you, Maggie. Never.”

  “I want to believe you.”

  He said, “But you don’t.”

  “I can’t go through that again, Cole. You were my only friend, my best friend. And I had nothing without you, I had to learn how to be alone all over again.” She put her hands on his and said softly, “I won’t survive the fall if it happens again.”

  He dropped his head on to her chest. Listened to her heart beat. Tried not to think how hurt she must have been. She’d forgiven him but the fear was still there, the fear that he’d do it again.

  He closed his eyes.

  She said, “Please don’t do anything that makes me worry. That makes me wonder. That makes me doubt.”

  “I don’t know if I can. You doubt when I want to move in with you.”

  He felt her nod and she said, “Okay. Then you promise to give me the whole truth, nothing but the truth, and I’ll promise to believe you’re innocent until proven guilty.”

  He sighed a long, long sigh, and she said, “See, that makes me wonder.”

  He sat up, straddling her, and crossed his arms. Her eyebrows went up and she pushed herself up onto her elbows.

  He said, “You’re not going to like it.”

  “Oh, God. Already?”

  “Is this you believing I’m innocent until proven guilty?”

  She pinched her lips together.

  Cole said, “Trust me, Maggie.”

  She closed her eyes and laid back on the bed. “You just said I’m not going to like it.”

  “You’re not. I think it’s fair to say I will make you mad from time to time. But that doesn’t mean it was done to hurt you or that it even will hurt you.”

  She kept her eyes closed. “Just tell me.”

  “MOC bought your loans from Harwood.”

  Her eyes stayed closed, her face emotionless. “Why? And I want the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

  “So you don’t have to deal with him anymore. So I don’t have to deal with him anymore.”

  “Because the little woman just can’t handle one asshole?”

  He smiled at her closed eyes. “Because if I have to imagine him insulting you one more time, I am going to tie him to one of my drills and use his teeth as a bit.”

  Her mouth curved up and he said, “I’m not joking.”

  “I know. I was picturing it.”

  “You don’t like him, Maggie. He digs at you, hurts you. I don’t want you working with him. For any deal, for any reason. You don’t need him now.”

  She opened her eyes. “Because I have you now?”

  He said softly, “Yes. Harwood is an issue I need you to work around.”

  He crawled off her, laying on the bed next to her, and stared at the ceiling.

  She turned her head to look at him. “You’re right. I don’t like it. I especially don’t like you messing around in my business.”

  “Your business? I do own thirty percen–”

  “Don’t start that.”

  He turned to his side, propping his head up on his hand. “I don’t want y
our debt, Maggie. I’ll clear it off the books, pay for it out of pocket. I just don’t want you to have any reason to work with Jackson Harwood.”

  She shook her head. “I’ll pay you for it. Although I still have a one year moratorium.”

  “We’ll talk about it.”

  “I told you I didn’t want your money.”

  He took her hand and played with her ring. “Things have changed.”

  “That part hasn’t. I don’t want you to pay off my debts.”

  “Because you’d rather owe a bunch of sharks than owe me?”

  “Because there’s something about money, Cole, and we already have enough issues to deal with.”

  “We’ll work our way through them.” He leaned closer. “Am I forgiven about Harwood?”

  “Maybe by tomorrow. And I know you’ve got issues with him but I only gave you the skirt for free.”

  “And you don’t want me to pay off the debt in return for you steering clear of him, huh?”

  She shook her head. He slid his hand inside her jeans and murmured, “Then let me think about what I can give you.”

  “You think about it. And in the mean time…” She put her lips against his, slipped her hand around his back. “Let’s fight about it before you go off and do something that’ll make me mad, okay?”

  “I do like fighting with you.”

  “I know. I don’t know why you kept this to yourself when you could have got me all riled up.”

  He kissed her. “I do like you all riled up.”

  He shoved her pants down and said, “You got a deal. Next time I’ll rile you up before.”

  Tanner was flying high. Cole’s assistant had called to tell him Harwood’s loans had been transferred and that Cole would be bringing a check back with him this weekend.

  Earned money, good money.

  Tanner wanted to celebrate, to drink. He pulled into the liquor store, and sat, and stared.

  He’d tried to quit going cold turkey. And it had scared him. Because he’d seen how all his wanting had turned into needing.

  And one day he might try again, but for now he was working on reducing. To cut back and to think of alcohol as medicine. To take it when he needed it, only when he needed it. Only as much as he needed.

  But what was he supposed to do when he wanted it?

  He dialed his cell, dialed the one person he couldn’t fail again.

  When Ginny picked up, he said, “I think… I think I need a distraction.”

  “Where are you?”

  He didn’t want to tell her but he’d promised not to hide anymore. “At the liquor store. I wanted to celebrate tonight.”

  “Come home, Tanner. We’ll celebrate by having a delicious dinner, we’ll celebrate by taking off all our clothes. And then we’ll celebrate by planning what to do with our future. What to do next.”

  He sighed deeply, watching people go in and out. Some smiling, happy. Some gripping their brown paper bags, hurrying to get home. Not happy; needing.

  He didn’t know why some could take a drink and then stop. He didn’t know why he couldn’t.

  Ginny said, “Why do you need a drink to celebrate, Tanner?”

  When he was happy, it made him happier. When he was sad, it made him less sad. He just felt better with alcohol. He just felt like more.

  “I guess I don’t need it. But I want it.”

  “Do you want it, really? Want everything that comes with it? I think you’re only remembering the good parts and forgetting the bad parts. The part where it turns from one drink to two to three. The part where you end up alone, pushing me away because you don’t want me to see.”

  At her words, he looked away from the store. He hadn’t been thinking of that. He’d been thinking of that first sip. The warmth that would spread through his body, making him feel so good. Making him feel even colder and more alone after it went away.

  “Come home, Tanner. Today has been a good day. We’ll have enough bad days, let’s keep the good days good to the end.”

  He turned on the car without looking at the store. Pictured himself sitting out by the pool alone, sliding a bottle under his chair.

  He said, “I’ll be home in a few minutes.”

  Ginny said, “I’ll be naked.”

  He choked out a laugh. “I’ll be home even quicker than I was planning.”

  “I love you, Tanner.”

  He smiled, knowing it was the truth even if she was still trying to get him home sans bottle.

  “I love you, Ginny. I’ll be home as fast as I can.”

  He hung up, keeping his eyes averted from the store. He sped out of the parking lot, getting away before he changed his mind. Before it won. Before it could ruin his evening with his wife.

  Maggie and Cole had left Midland late Friday afternoon. They hadn’t got back to Dallas until after eight. Hadn’t left Cole’s until after nine. He’d needed a change of clothes, a toothbrush.

  Maggie had watched him gather his things and had tried to keep a pleasant look on her face. Tried not to look like a deer caught in the headlights.

  Cole was moving in with her?

  Okay, yes, she already lived with him out in Midland. But that was different. That was temporary, in a trailer. Or had been until he’d bought a house.

  With a white and yellow kitchen. With pink tile in the bathroom.

  He’d dragged them to Walmart at midnight, getting supplies. Towels, a toothbrush holder. A coffee maker.

  She’d followed him around, pushing the cart, trying not to smile at him like a ninny. But he was just so cute.

  Cole Montgomery was cute.

  She was obviously suffering from sleep deprivation.

  There would be naps taken this weekend. Maggie understood now why he needed them.

  Maggie and Cole sat in the truck, looking at the lights that had been left on for them in the ranch house.

  He said, “Okay?”

  She put on her poker face. “Yes. I’ve just never lived with anyone before.”

  “You live with me.”

  “I can’t tell you why it’s different when it’s you living with me.”

  He took her hand in the dark and squeezed. “I know it’s different, Maggie. For one thing, you’re not going to be able to sleep in the middle of your bed.”

  “And I’m going to have to give you a drawer.”

  “It’s hurting you, isn’t it?”

  She laughed, dropping his hand to get out of the truck. He took her hand again before they reached the door and when they walked in together, Maggie realized he’d been right. She was much more comfortable with him sneaking in the window than walking through the front door.

  “I need to speak with Rosa. Do you want to wait in the bedroom? Kitchen?”

  “I’ll make myself at home.”

  She turned to him, gripping his arms, wishing she was taller and she could look right into his eyes. Why didn’t they make three-inch boots?

  She said, “I’m not ashamed of you, Cole. I’m not nervous because it’s you. It’s just that it’s complicated because it’s you. I’m nervous because I’ve never brought a man home before.”

  When he grinned at her, she said, “Openly.”

  He dropped his travel bag and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I know you’re not ashamed of me, Empress. I’ve never thought you were, even when you should have been.”

  He kissed her and whispered against her lips, “And I think it’s cute that you’re nervous.”

  She pulled back from him. “Cute? Ugh.”

  She waved to the kitchen. “You’re welcome to anything. Except if it has a blue dot on it. That means Rosa has plans for it.”

  He pushed her down the hall. “Go take care of your business. I’ll see what’s in the kitchen.”

  She knocked softly, hoping Rosa was asleep. But she answered with a smile, her glasses perched on her head. “You’re home, mija. You need dinner?”

  Maggie shook her head, looking down the hall, and Rosa
narrowed her eyes. She said, “He’s here.”

  “Rosa. He’s not what he did. Will you give him a chance?”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because he’ll be here all weekend. Every weekend.”

  Rosa closed her eyes, shaking her head. “You are not una chica estúpida. Why do you fall for the bad boy again?”

  Because the bad boy made her heart race, made life so much fun. He out-plotted her, outmaneuvered her. She had to work to get him where she wanted him to go.

  She just wasn’t quite sure where she wanted him.

  Maggie said, “He’s not a boy. He’s a man. And I’ve welcomed him here.” She took Rosa’s hand. “Please don’t spit in his food.”

  Rosa let out a string of Spanish. How dare Maggie insult her! She would never! To the food she made!

  Maggie laughed, hugging her. She whispered, “I know, Rosa. Don’t threaten him with a knife, okay?”

  Rosa harumphed, pushing Maggie away.

  Rosa put her glasses on and looked up at Maggie carefully. “He’ll be here every weekend?”

  Maggie nodded and Rosa said, “For how long?”

  Until this ended, until they ended.

  So…for always.

  Maggie took a deep breath, telling Rosa with her eyes. Telling the one person who would hate it the most. Telling the one person who’d seen what he did last time. Maybe warning her.

  Because Cole had snuck back in, crawled through her walls when no one else could. She didn’t ever want to let that go. No matter what he wanted in return. She didn’t want to be alone again.

  She didn’t want to be without Cole again.

  Rosa let out a long sigh. “At least he is pretty to look at.”

  Maggie smiled. “Thank you.”

  “Tell him to stay out of my kitchen. And to keep his pantalones on.”

  “I’m not telling him that.”

  Rosa muttered, “I don’t want to hear this.”

  Maggie turned to go and Rosa grabbed her hand, saying softly, “Mija. You’re not going to be careful. You’re not going to be smart. So I’ll be here.”

  Maggie squeezed her hand and nodded. Then she went to go find Cole.

  Maggie walked by her father’s room, stopped inside and looked at him lying there, held his hand for a minute.

  She said softly, “Cole is going to stay here tonight. He’ll be staying here a lot.”