It's Only Temporary - The Complete Collection Page 17
She unzipped his pants. “I don’t think this is your mother winning.”
He backed her towards the bed. “I could tell them you came down with something.”
She smiled evilly. “Tell them I have to repair the hole I put in your wall.”
“You don’t want my mother dropping by again. And she’d come running if I told her that.”
She laughed. “Maybe I could just torture your mother for the next week. I might just make it then.”
He pulled her shirt over her head. “Or we could extend this for a few more weeks and really torture her.”
She said, “You can’t afford to pay me overtime.”
He popped the button on her jeans. “Oh, I probably could.”
“No. We already agreed on six weeks.”
“But if you’re not going back to work, there’s no rush. You can spend a million dollars just as easily in New York as you can in Los Angeles. And you still haven’t got that half out of me yet.”
“I really thought I was going to, too.”
“So stick around. Stop trying to do nothing, come to work with me, and stay a little bit longer.”
He sat on the bed and pulled her down on to his lap.
She shook her head and he said, “Stay. I like living with you.”
“Why?”
He squeezed her butt. “Guess.”
“Oh, please. You don’t need to live with a woman to sleep with her.”
“It’s nice knowing you’ll be here when I get home. We don’t have to coordinate.”
“It’s a scheduling issue?”
He rolled his eyes up to his head. “A scheduling issue. You do that on purpose. Kill all my moves just for the fun of it.”
She pointed to her backside. “You sneaked a butt squeeze past me. I didn’t see that one coming in time.”
“You saw it coming.”
She pinched his nipple and said, “Did you see that coming?”
“Ow!” He grabbed her hands, trapping them against his chest. “Vicious. No wonder my mother doesn’t like you. Just think of her head exploding when I tell her you’re staying a little bit longer.”
“I’m not staying any longer. I’ve got a new life to figure out.”
“You mean a non-life. I’ve got to be better than that.”
She shook her head, wriggling her hands free.
He said, “You know I’ll talk you into it.”
“Not this time. I’ve learned all your tricks now.”
He rolled her onto her back and held her hand to his heart. “Not all my tricks.”
He bent his head and she said, “You’re going to love me to death, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m going to love you into staying.”
“You can try,” she said and his heart thumped. He knew with Mackenzie that success was never guaranteed.
Luckily, he liked a good challenge. Dammit.
Mackenzie woke with a gasp, her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest.
Ethan murmured, “Okay?”
She slipped out of the covers, telling him to go back to sleep, and went into the bathroom.
She sat down on the rim of the tub, put her head in her hands, and stared down at the tile. Afraid to close her eyes.
Because Ethan had looked at her. He’d held her hands, and kissed her, and made love to her. And looked at her.
Is this what he did to his girlfriends? Looked at them like that? Like…like…
Like he loved her.
Like she was everything he had ever wanted. Like she was the most important thing in the world to him.
Mackenzie’s stomach heaved and she breathed in through her nose and out her mouth.
She knew he didn’t mean it. And she knew he wasn’t conning her.
This is what he’d paid her a million dollars for. To look into his eyes, to see love there, and to not believe it. To protect both of them. Because he couldn’t help it and he couldn’t stand to hurt anyone else.
A quiet knock on the door made her jump.
“Mackenzie? Honey?”
Her stomach clenched and she rubbed her face.
She opened the door slowly, bracing herself. His green eyes were filled with concern and she said, “I was just… I had a bad dream.”
He took her hand, leading her back to bed and wrapping his arms around her.
She put her head on his chest, right on the spot that had become her unofficial pillow. Right where she could hear his lying heart beating. She lay there in Ethan’s arms and knew that a million dollars hadn’t been enough.
But at least she knew he couldn’t help himself. That it wasn’t real.
Not her fault that she’d fallen for it. Every woman did.
One week and three days later, Mackenzie woke early and rolled quietly out of bed. She’d packed her bags yesterday while Ethan was at work. Had bought a plane ticket. And hadn’t told him.
He’d spent the last week trying to get her to say she would stay. But she couldn’t. And she already knew he could talk her into uprooting her life when she should run screaming.
It wouldn’t be hard for him to do it this time since she liked being with him. Liked living with him. Loved New York.
But their contract was up, which meant if she stayed it would be real. She would really be living with him. Really be sleeping with him. Really be in love with him.
She couldn’t really be in love with Ethan Howell O’Connor. Women who fell in love with him fell hard when he moved on.
He would break her and this time there would be nothing left to start over with. Nothing left but a bitter woman. With an intense desire to give an interview to the National Enquirer.
She didn’t want to be that kind of woman.
She wasn’t that kind of woman.
She stared down at him, memorizing his face. The sunlight streamed through the window, shrouding him in a golden halo. His long fingers lay loose on the sheets. She loved his fingers. Loved feeling them, holding them, touching them.
She closed her eyes and turned away.
She didn’t say goodbye but she left anyway. She left a copy of their engagement pre-nup, her cell phone, and her ring lying on the kitchen counter.
Their time was up.
When she arrived home, the phone was ringing. It rang and it rang. She thought about unplugging it but knew he’d just show up at her door. She took a deep breath and answered the phone.
She didn’t say anything, just listened to him breathe. Imagined him looking out at the buildings, his shirt half-buttoned, his bare feet sinking into the plush carpet. Her heart hurt thinking she’d never see him again. But she said, “Did I forget something?”
There was a pause and then he said, “Oh yeah, you forgot something. You’re fired.”
“What exactly are you firing me from? As of this morning I no longer work for O’Connor Capital. And as of last night I am no longer your hired fiancé. There’s nothing left.”
“There’s nothing left…” He said it slowly, not quite a question. More like he was tasting the words, seeing how they felt in his mouth.
Obviously, he didn’t like it very much because he nearly shouted, “Goddammit, Mackenzie. There’s nothing left, my ass.”
She couldn’t help her half-laugh, half-sob. And there was the Mr. Charming she knew.
“Ethan. I wish you the best. I know the OC will continue on well without me, although of course you’ll have to hire three people to replace my sales. And I know that you will find that woman who is worth half your fortune. Probably. Maybe. I really think you should abandon that tradition.”
“Mackenz–”
“Good-bye, Ethan.” She hung up and sat down on her couch.
She let herself cry this one time, just for a little while. Then wiped her tears and started packing up her house. Time to start her new non-life.
Ethan’s grandmother answered the door with her eyebrows furrowed. “Why the hell aren’t you in L.A.?”
Ethan pus
hed his way in. “She doesn’t love me.”
Ellen slammed the door shut behind him. “Coward. I never thought I’d say that to my own grandson. But that’s what you are. A coward. And a chicken. A lily-livered chicken.” She flung her hands into the air. “A spineless, yellow-bellied coward.”
He started laughing, his shoulders shaking silently. He headed to the kitchen, grabbing two beers and handing one to her, a smile still on his face.
He said, “It’s karma, that’s what it is. How many women have fallen hopelessly in love with me? It was my turn.”
“What you’re telling me is that you’re not a coward. You’re just stupid.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what’s worse.”
“I am everything she doesn’t want.”
“But she wants you anyway? I don’t know what you think love is supposed to feel like but that’s as good a description as any.”
“She’s too smart to fall for me.”
Ellen snorted. “If those good looks you were cursed with, along with that charm you constantly deploy, and a copious amount of cash at your disposal can’t get the woman you love to lose her mind long enough to get a ring on her finger, I don’t know what the point was.”
“You do know all that is why she doesn’t want me, right?”
“She wants you. She just wishes she didn’t.” Ellen watched him take a swig of beer and shook her head. “Go get her, numnuts.”
He choked on his beer. “Grandma! I haven’t heard that word since grandfather died.”
“Your grandfather was high and mighty and born with a silver spoon up his backside, just like you. Who do you think taught him that word?”
He laughed. “Then how come I’ve never heard you say it until now?”
“Because it reminds me of him.”
He looked at her carefully, seeing the sorrow in her words. “You still miss him?”
“Of course I do.”
He said, “So some love is forever.”
She eyed him. “Some love is.”
“Mackenzie doesn’t think so. She thinks forever love is luck.”
Ellen smiled. “It is. It’s luck and guts and not being dumb. Right now you’re one out of three.” She patted his shoulder. “But your grandfather only had one out of three at one point, too.”
He raised his eyebrow. “You’re saying grandfather didn’t have any guts? Grandfather?” His grandfather had been a terror. Balls of steel when markets were crashing and others were cracking.
She tipped her head back, a far away look in her eye. “When it came to love. He’d seen his parents’ unhappy marriage and thought there wasn’t anything else in life. And even if there was, it wasn’t worth searching for. He just wanted a pretty decoration for his arm and a woman waiting at home for him.” She snorted. “Luckily, he wised up and realized before too late that there was something more than that.”
She looked at Ethan and poked him in the chest so he was paying attention. “There’s more than that.”
He took a swig. “I think I’ve realized that.”
“So now it’s time to go win her over.”
“Did Grandfather have to win you over?”
“You bet your balls he did. You think I’d just swoon as soon as he started chasing me?”
Ethan sat down and looked into the beer bottle. “How did he win you?”
Ellen sat next to him and put her hand on his arm. “He gave me what I needed.”
He looked up. “What did you need?”
She laughed. “Oh, I needed proof that he respected me as an equal. Now, that won’t work for Mackenzie because that’s not what she needs.”
“What does she need?”
“How am I supposed to know?”
“You’re a lot of help.”
She patted his arm. “You know. You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what she needs, except maybe change everything about myself.”
She shook her head. “She already loves you. You don’t need to change anything about yourself.”
He blinked. “You think she loves me?”
Ellen barked out a laugh. “Looks like we’re still working on dumb.” She shook her head. “Come at this as if she already loved you. What else does she need?”
“She needs someone who doesn’t remind her of her father.”
“Mmm. But she already loves you, so that’s not what she needs.” She pushed herself up. “You think on it, numnuts. It’ll come to you.”
She picked up the phone, punching in a number.
He said, “What are you doing?”
“Getting the plane ready. You’re not going to give her what she needs wallowing on my couch and drinking my beer.”
He looked down into the amber liquid. What did Mackenzie Wyatt need?
He had no idea. But he was pretty certain she’d say it wasn’t him.
He looked up at his grandmother. “You really think she loves me?”
She patted his head. “Poor clueless boy.”
She tried to pull him up and he helped her by rising. She started pushing him toward the door.
He said, “I still don’t know what she needs.”
She took his bottle and pushed him out the door. “It’s a long flight. You’ll figure it out.”
Ethan knocked on Mackenzie’s door six hours later. He knocked and he knocked and she answered by finally whipping the door open and shouting, “What!”
He said, “I was going to break a window to get in but I thought you wouldn’t appreciate it.”
“I don’t appreciate you trying to knock my door down, either.”
“I have something to say to you. I don’t want to say it. You probably don’t want to hear it.”
“Sounds like a win-win.”
“But if I don’t say it I will regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomo–”
She started to close the door and he stuck his shoe in the doorway. “I knew you would never fall for me. I knew I could trust you… I just didn’t realize I couldn’t trust myself. I didn’t realize that I would fall in love with you.”
She sighed and closed her eyes. “Ethan. How many women have you fallen in love with since you were sixteen?”
“None.”
She opened her eyes, the disbelief clear.
He said, “I’ve loved them all. Still love them all. And have been in love with none of them.”
She waved away the distinction. “And how many of them didn’t fall in love with you?”
He didn’t say it. Knew she would think he’d fallen in love with her only because she hadn’t fallen in love with him.
She said it for him. “None. You don’t love me. You just don’t know what to do with a woman who doesn’t fall all over you.”
He took her hand. “But you pass my test. I’d give you half of O’Connor Capital without even blinking. If you wanted it.”
She looked at him, so sad, and he dropped her hand. He said softly, “But you don’t want it. Because you don’t believe me. And won’t ever let yourself love me if you don’t believe it first.”
He pushed something into her hand and she looked down. He said, “Don’t get excited. It’s not that half mil.”
She took the envelope from him, opening it and finding a plane ticket inside. She looked up.
He said, “He won’t trick you again. You’re not a green kid anymore. And you can tell when someone really loves you.”
Her eyes widened.
He said, “But you deserve to see if he’ll choose you this time. I think you need that.”
She stood speechless as he reached out and pushed her hair off her face. “Thank you, Mackenzie. For helping me with the press. For letting me fall in love with you. A man should do it at least once in his life.”
She was still staring at him when he walked away. When he got in his car and drove away.
Cassandra found her crying into a pint of ice cream. “That bad, huh?”
Mackenzie nodded.
“He said he loves you.”
Mackenzie nodded and scrunched up her face again.
“And you love him.”
Noisy sobs answered her and Cassandra let Mackenzie cry for a few minutes before she said, “I’m not seeing the problem here.”
“He’s Ethan Howell O’Connor. That’s the problem.”
Cassandra nodded. “Yep, yep. Ethan Howell O’Connor. Handsome, rich, charming. Oh yeah, and he’s already said that he loves you. God, what an ass.”
Mackenzie took a big bite of ice cream.
Cassandra said, “He’s rich. Is that the dealbreaker?”
Mackenzie sniffed. “That sounds stupid to say.”
“Yes, it does. It sounds very stupid. He’s handsome. Is that the dealbreaker?”
“Well, it’s not ideal. I mean I don’t want him looking like a dog, but he’s… He walks into a room and women orgasm. They throw themselves at him. Every day I watch women stare at him with a little look on their face that says ‘I just came. Just a little bit.’ I had to throw some chick out of the elevator. Some cougar was waiting for him outside the restroom.”
“So, that’s the dealbreaker.”
Mackenzie growled. “No.”
“‘Cause you can handle that, right?”
“Yes.”
“So? What else?”
“His mother hates me.”
Cassandra snorted. “Oh, yeah. Because that hasn’t happened to millions of women over the centuries. I’m not even going to ask because that’s not a dealbreaker. Move to a different city. What else?”
Mackenzie shrugged her shoulders.
“So what you’re telling me is that there are things you don’t like, but no dealbreakers.”
“He’s not the dealbreaker. I am.”
“I know dealbreakers and you aren’t it.” Cassandra took her hand and held it. “Trust me when I say there is not always a happy ending. I have lots of experience in unhappy endings. Lots of experience in hopeless endings. And I know this: when there’s a chance at finding the real deal, you have to grab for it. You have to walk to the end of the pier and jump off, knowing full well that you may end up broken on the rocks below. That’s a life well lived. Ending up broken on the rocks because you tried. Not still standing on the pier, afraid.”